


THE FOOL

by Imandra_Pipkin



Series: Shadowhunter Tarot [10]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), malec - Fandom
Genre: Established Relationship, High Warlock of Alicante Magnus Bane, Homophobic Language, Husbands, Inquisitor Alec Lightwood, M/M, Masturbation, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-10
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:08:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24111823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Imandra_Pipkin/pseuds/Imandra_Pipkin
Summary: Being gay changes your world.Being a gay shadowhunter takes that to a whole new level.Being the gay son of the Head of the Institute is a completely different league.
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Series: Shadowhunter Tarot [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1718071
Comments: 9
Kudos: 79
Collections: Shadowhunters Tarot Challenge





	THE FOOL

**Author's Note:**

> A pelican waits perched on a lonely ocean post, waves lapping at the sides. Its only company are the stars and the moon above as it sits on the precipice of flight.
> 
> The Fool is typically the first card you see when you open a brand new tarot deck. It represents a blank slate, usually depicted as someone or something about to step off of a cliff into open air. It symbolizes the act of beginning a new path or journey, and the optimism and hopes that come with it (as well as the possibly foolish and naive idealism). The Fool is like a newborn baby with no experience or knowledge of the world, and so it is unafraid and believes it cannot fail. The Fool does not tell you by itself whether new endeavors or relationships will be rewarded or punished. It only tells you of the possibility, the risk you are about to take, and encourages spontaneity and impulsive actions over the safety of planning.

_Fuck! I'm gay._

Panting, Alec woke up. He was lying in his bed in the institute. He had an ... exciting dream. He dreamed of hands on skin, lips and kisses. He dreamed of his hand on another boy's cock. He was sexually aroused. 

Alec raised the duvet and looked at his (very first of many more lonely) hard-on who was building a tent in his pajama bottoms.

Yeah, the dream had been very arousing. The result was obvious. 

Groaning, he dropped back onto the pillows. And waited.

But such a hard-on doesn't vanish so easily. Especially not by itself. The impressions of his dream were too vividly, too fresh in his mind. He couldn't think of anything else. He couldn't get these pictures out of his head.

He checked the clock. He had to get up in half an hour.

He turned on his side. And waited.

He turned on his back again. And waited. 

He raised the duvet and looked at his hard-on again. Unchanged. Still hard.

His dream repeated in his head. He couldn't see the boy's face clearly but he could remember a few details like dark hair and tanned skin, the contrast of his own hand, which lay on the boy's chest and went down and down. 

Alec closed his eyes. He immediately felt the boy's lips on his neck. Alec ran a hand over this spot. He followed the path the boy's lips had explored in his dream. This path led Alec's finger down his throat, over his clavicle. 

He caressed his nipples and gasped in surprise at their sensitivity. He felt an unusual tingling sensation run through his body down to the tips of his toes. 

Alec pushed aside all modesty. If the touch on his nipple felt like that, what would expect him if he... 

Alec's arousal increased at the mere thought of it.

Almost impatient, he lifted the waistband of his pajama bottoms. He could see the first drop of precum. His cock twitched, running a thread of precum from his belly to the tip of his cock.

He broke the wet thread with his finger. Scrutinizing, Alec rubbed the precum between thumb and forefinger. He took his cock between these two fingers and stroked several times over his length. It felt good.

But he realized he needed more. He clasped his cock with his fist. He tried what pace he liked, how firm the grip had to be. Of course he had touched himself before, but it had never felt that good. 

He tried some tentatively tugs on his cock (he still didn't have the hang of it) when his thumb ran over his frenulum by chance. 

Alec groaned loudly.

_Yes, that's it._

He repeated this movement again and again until he noticed that the friction was getting too dry. He spat into his hand and went on. 

He felt his balls and toes tingle as he twisted his wrist while he moved his hand. 

_Oh my god! How can people do anything else besides this?_

He kicked off the duvet with his feet and pulled his pajama bottoms down as far as he could with one hand. 

Alec's brain went blank. He was caught in these new feelings, in the pure pleasure that his hand on his cock gave him.

He raised his head. He wanted to watch his cock emerge from his fist. His fingers alternately rubbed over his nipples or squeezed them. His breathing became shallow.

Alec's head dropped back onto his pillow. With his eyes closed, he sucked the air deep into his lungs. It was almost too much. But not enough! He raised his head again.

He thought of his dream. His hand at a boy's cock. A boy's hand in his hair. 

Pleasure overwhelmed him in all-consuming waves as his cock spouted sperm in several jets.

Alec saw his slit spit out his cum and he was mesmerized by this sight. It was everywhere, on his hand, on his stomach.

Exhausted, his head hit the pillow. He had strained his neck muscles too much. 

He looked at his hand.

_Um, what now?_

He was covered in his own cum. He hadn't given any thought to the fact that this would inevitably happen. How could he, if the majority of his blood was used in the south and was therefore missing when thinking.

His first jerk off (out of many more lonely ones that followed) wasn't lacking in spontaneity, but in preparation.

But next time, next time he would have all bases covered! He would do some research. Discreet, of course. And surreptitiously. He knew his sister too well to do it in any other way. 

He didn't know who to ask, who to talk to. 

His first orgasm has been incredible. He had never known that it would be like that. He had never really dealt with this subject until now. His education and training was always in the foreground for him.

Alec got out of bed and went into the shower. His morning training was imminent. Hodge was waiting for him and several other growing shadowhunters.

Alec watched the other kids in the training room. Could they see what he had just done? Did the others look at him differently now that he knew for sure he was gay?

Hodge split the boys and girls into teams of two for a hand-to-hand combat. Alec didn't care if Hodge gave him a girl. They could fight as well as the boys. If not, he saw it as his duty to help the weaker develop their full potential. 

He was the son of the Head of the Institute and felt responsible for ensuring that all shadowhunters were well trained and didn't endanger themselves or others at missions. 

Alec still felt great, maybe a bit wobbly on his feet, but great after all. 

He focused on his sparring partner and paid little attention to the fights around him. Until a jeering comment entered his mind. "What kind of fag are you. Let a girl put you on your back."

Alec looked around to know who said that and found himself on his butt. His sparring partner grinned at him. "You don't have to make it easy for me," Darren laughed. 

Alec stayed seated and looked over at Chris, who was lying on the floor, a proud Amalia hovering over him. Raj stood by and smirked, surrounded by the other teenagers who were supposed to be training. Few of them made an exception and didn't laugh.

Earlier, Alec had been wondering who to talk to. Now he knew the answer: Nobody! 

Because even Hodge did nothing to stop the scornful mockery. This realization hit Alec hard. He had practically grown up with these shadowhunters. Hodge was a person of respect to him, someone whose authority he had never doubted.

As the son of the Head of the Institute, he was never quite one of them, they shared a certain camaraderie but no deep friendship.

Alec now became painfully aware that he was all alone, that he couldn't tell anyone that he had had this wonderful dream at all.

Not if he didn't want to lose all the respect he needed from his subordinates as future Head of the Institute, not if he wanted to be taken seriously, not if he didn't want anyone to question his orders.

But above all, he didn't want anyone to devalue his wonderful dream and drag it through the dirt.

Alec was determined to become Head of the Institute. Necessarily. Now more than ever. No matter what it costs. To be able to change these things. He wanted an upheaval, he wanted real developments.

To do this, he had to be better than everyone else. He had to train harder than the others. He couldn't allow scoffing remarks to jeopardize or even ruin his career, his future. 

He had to suppress and hide that part of himself until he was in the safety of his room. 

This experience was the first serious disappointment in his life (the very first of many that would follow). 

Alec grew older, and so did the boy from his dream. His chest became wider, more muscular, his stomach flatter, the grooves of the abs more prominent. The boy from his dream became a man. 

Over the years, his determination grew with every homophobic slur but his idealism decreased to the same extent. 

And so a dear, sweet boy became a grumpy, frustrated, salty Alec.

He became a shadowhunter, who implemented the law and regulations of the clave word for word in order not to risk his career, 'his' institute.

Alec had a dream.

Alec had a goal in mind.

Alec was determined.

༺ ∘ ༻

Many, many, many years later.

Alec was sitting at his desk. It was late, so he closed the folder he was working on. 

He looked around his office. He could be content with his life, with his job, with his with his successes. 

Finally, he was in a position of power, he had influence, he could make important changes. Finally.

_There's a hierarchy of command, and the Inquisitor is near the top._

When he was offered the position of Inquisitor, he hadn't hesitated to make the requirement that his husband must be allowed to accompany him to Idris, in the position of High Warlock of Alicante. 

Where Alec went, Magnus went. And vice versa. 

Magnus had had so many homes in his life, had started all over again, for various reareasons. 

But for Alec it was a new beginning, an exciting journey and somehow a start into the unknown. He had never lived anywhere else than in New York. First in the institute, later in Magnus loft.

And yet he saw the promotion as the continuation of his personal mission. 

When he was still Head of the New York Institute, he had already started to make his mark, making it clear to the clave that he was to be reckoned with, but not to be trifled with.

His idea of the Downworld cabinet wasn't received positively by every Shadowhunter. 

But his tenacity had won.

He had proven on several occasions that his work brought about positive changes. His successes spoke for themselves. 

For some fights, Alec needed staying power. Real changes took time. But with every new generation of Shadowhunters he got more supporters.

He had deliberately celebrated his wedding with Magnus at the institute, right under the nose of the Clave. 

A gay shadowhunter was a bit of a scandal. But the wedding with a warlock, a downworder, and then of all times a same sex wedding, was an event that would previously have been inconceivable.

Since even Alicante had opened its gates to the Downworld, this was no longer a peculiarity and above all it was no longer a rarity. Izzy ran the New York Institute, and her relationship with Simon, a vampire, was no secret. Their chief of security, Andrew Underhill, was dating the High Warlock of Brooklyn, Lorenzo Rey. 

For this reason, some shadowhunters submitted their transfer application for the New York Institute. Alec called this a progress.

It was time to go home to his husband. With a smile, Alec looked at his wedding ring. He had stopped a long time ago, to constantly fidget at his wedding ring. The feeling of the wedding ring was no longer unusual and new, but familiar and comforting. Now he just played with his wedding ring when he needed to ground himself. 

Alec slid the confidential folder into a filing cabinet, locked it, took his jacket, turned off the lights, and left his office. 

His way home was not far. He usually took this opportunity to free his thoughts from work.

When he got home, he found Magnus on the balcony, which offered a wonderful view over Alicante. 

Magnus got up to greet him. "Hello darling! How was your day in the office?" Magnus pecked his cheek.

Alec wrapped his arms around Magnus. "We are making progress. Every day a little more. And how is the work of the High Warlock of Alicante going?"

"I can't complain. My schedule is full. I'm booked out for weeks."

"Nice to hear," Alec murmured. His eyes wandered from Magnus' eyes to his mouth.

The feeling of Magnus lips still had the same effect even after this long time of being together. 

He tightened his grip on his husband's waist as Magnus put his arms around his neck. Magnus' hand in his nape was an invitation for a kiss. A request that Alec was only too happy to comply with. 

Alec had found the boy, the man, of his dreams. He deepened the kiss and let the butterflies dance.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are very appreciated. 🙂 Do you have a favorite line? Let me know. 😉
> 
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> or  
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> 
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> #Shadowhunters 💕


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